Green Solution Feeds Flat Battery

The good news is that there is a solution to the perennial problem of the car battery going flat just when you're in a hurry, aunt Gemima is in a tizz, the cat has a tick on his whisker, the dog a distemper and young Harry's ear has been gored by the most gigantic earwig.
The solution apparently is urine. I have it on good authority that in the USA they've been pouring human sweat, blood and not tears but urine into a paper-thin battery. It's made of about 90 per cent cellulose. I don't quite know what that is but it sounds like that wafer cone you eat the ice cream out of. They use it in the making of paper, apparently. And they kind of cook it into these tiny batteries, which you can fold, roll and cut up into slices like lasagne. Only, don't pee into the cook pot once you've made the lasagne, because this battery is activated by the urine, just as by sweat and blood. You may have given cook a shock but when you touch the pan, the mixture might give you a shock too. Once the sparks begin to fly, the wee battery starts to become attractive at that moment to car manufacturers. You may even have the people who make those heart pacemakers queueing at your door.