A Weighty Thought

Which reminds me. I've come across a touching up therapy which is complementary to Botox, the derivative of botulism, the deadly poison I was never keen to insert into crucial parts of my body, puffing out the cheeks, inflating the lips, introducing smoothness where there were wrinkles. I'm considering a quick trip to Los Angeles, where apparently, you can lose your love handles by lipo-dissolve, a quick injection over the lunch break of PCDC - phosphalidylchloline - a little chemical cocktail which is claimed to dissolve fat. It actually takes 10 minutes - less than the time involved in eating the average ice cream cornet. Uncomfortable? Apparently not, apart from some slight swelling and numbness around the needle. Formerly, incision was the rule. Now I'm in a state of indecision. To be frank, it's not just the cost of the train fare from Yorkshire to Los Angeles. I need to know first of all whether it's a reliable method, ever since hearing about the man who, after a bit of lipo on the side at work, looked down and, Bingo! his penis was turning black. Then I need to know where the fat goes before diving in. Does it drip into the kidneys and thence to the urine, or does it seep into the liver and get metabolised. These are matters which keep me awake in the early hours. I'm all for tackling my little corner of the obesity epidemic, but with clinics springing up quicker than MacDonalds I also need to know how it works before joining the queue at what promises to be the most popular clinic in town.