A Little Testosterone Please, We're British

In my position, which is often vernacular, sometimes inclined forward and rarely absolutely horizontal, you tend to hear a good deal. Sometimes it's absolutely rivetting, at others moderately yawning, occasionally utterly disgusting. Last week I semi-overheard some locals tucked into an oak panelled corner in one of the several bars of our most respectable and elegant hotel in the main street of North Driffield, talking about a survey for a particularly nameless men's magazine. Apparently, British men are among the greatest enthusiasts for having a sex life and among the 20 countries in the survey, men in the USA are among the least keen, only being pipped to this position by the Malaysians and the Germans. About one Britisher in seven has had an affair, whereas one in four Italians has. At the same time the Italians, apparently, are the least satisfied with their sex lives, whereas the British men are the happiest, sexually, in the world. What does this tell us, apart from the fact that over half the Britons toddle around all day with a dazed smile on their faces not giving a pink floyd about anything? F * * * all, according to my postie.